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About Hobbyist Artist rachFemale/Australia Recent Activity
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rachredhead7
rach
Artist | Hobbyist
Australia
art shows what we can not speak: thus here is my voice

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So on Friday I attempted suicide and was yet again brought to the psych ward in which I snuck in a blade.
after first night checks I had a cuppa then locked myself in my bathroom.
I proceeded to slice open the veins in my elbow (having already been covered with bandages on my wrist)
as soon as blade tore vein, blood steadily oozed it way from the wound it was more a fast steady flow than a gluggy ooze and it proceeded to pool on the floor from which it then dribbled down the drain.
2nd check and a voice came 'are you on the toilet' yes was my instant lie.
as more blood poured out I began to get dizzy and my head became too heavy. sitting against the wall became a struggle.
my chest hurt. not because of my sadness but because of the increasing pressure bloodloss put of it. I was so dizzy.
soon everything grew dark.
it was too hard to keep my eyes open.
I knew I was going to die.
soon my vision turned white and I was gone.



somehow, something or someone happened and my eyes opened. I was terrified. I didn't know what going on.
I looked at the blood, then at my elbow - which wasn't bleeding anymore and thought WTF. I cried.
next thing I knew there was a knock on the door, 3rd check. the nurse opened the door and it was all over.

whatever really happened in those 2
2 hrs I don't know
is this death.
Friday 20/5/16
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Eating disorder and suicide

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I thought I was unlovable
ugly, scarred and broken
that no would ever like me
I then met Ana
she would make me perfect
to be beautiful, lovely and wanted
she said we would be friends
she introduced mia
she would erase my mistake
that I would be whole, clean and desired
then cat came along too
she would take away the pain
and I would be calm , safe and free
then I met sue
she would help me escape my mess
to be delicate, gone and remembered
then I lost my self
I was defined by what they all said
to be bony, scarred then dead
they promised everything
but who I really needed was starring at me
I am enough
I will always be enough.

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Eating disorder and suicide

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:iconbechic2015:
Bechic2015 Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2016  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the fave! :D (Big Grin)
Reply
:iconbechic2015:
Bechic2015 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2016  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the fav :)
Reply
:iconkeyholesandfrost:
KeyholesAndFrost Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fave odd Murderous Twins... it means the world to me
Reply
:iconkariliimatainen:
KariLiimatainen Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav:!
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:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Thanks a lot for the watch :)
Reply
:iconrachredhead7:
rachredhead7 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2015  Hobbyist
No problem, I like your stuff :)
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:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Awesome :D
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:iconjornonthestreets:
Jornonthestreets Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015  Professional Photographer
hello, thank you for the favorite! If you want we can watch each other?
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:iconlivelonganddraw:
LiveLongAndDraw Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much!
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:iconruetris:
RueTris Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2015  Student Photographer
Thanks for the favorite.  ^^
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